What have you failed at lately?

Have I ever told you that I am awful at volleyball?

I am.

My coach in high school told me as a junior (I was the only junior on B-squad, btw) that I would never play varsity and I could run the video camera my senior year.

That's a true story.

So, add 22 years to this body without ever touching a volleyball again and then see how good I am.

I feel sorry for the girl who asked me to join their volleyball team this year.

I feel sorry for her because little did she know I have been searching for a "female-fun" activity amongst this season of baseball, football, fantasy football, hunting, fishing, gym basketball, golfing "male-fun" activities. 

I feel sorry for her because she had no idea that I am one of those rare few who will swallow all of her pride and embarrass the heck out of herself all in the name of getting out of the house for an hour.

Too bad no one warned her that I will do just about anything to make new friends (even if they are 1/2 my age) and have fun!

I wish someone woulda told her that I am really okay with not winning. Ever.

My point of this blog is simply this....  If you, my dear friends, find yourself saying "NO" to an event, activity, friendship, class, etc. etc. because you fear you might not be good at it ~ please re-think your answer.

The inventor of Spanx is known to give tribute to her dad for making her and her siblings try something new every week that they might not be good at. He would ask at the dinner table, "What did you fail at today?" and that gave her great life-lessons that she took with her all the way to the bank!

So, now I ask you...What did you fail at this week?

I would call my first night on a new team (I knew one person) playing a sport that I KNOW I am not good at a total success!

 I had fun!

I scored points!

I burned calories!

I cheered on my team!

I laughed!

I screamed!

I fell down!

I used muscles that I have not used in 22 years!

I had a blast!

Did we win any of the 6 games we played, you ask? I'll never tell.

Now can someone please get my chiropractor!

                                       The boys giving their mom's sore muscles a massage.

A Valentine Gift idea

I made this last year with my 7 year old and 6 month old boys.

First, I found paper that would fit my husband's shoe and then I traced his shoe onto the paper.

Next, I put my older son's painted foot print in the inside of the traced shoe.

Then, I put my youngest son's footprint with a different color paint.

Last, my oldest son wrote these words: Dad, thanks for giving us such big shoes to fill.

I matted and framed it and it was a perfect gift of LOVE!

This year - my husband and I are writing a journal for our oldest answering questions like: I first knew I loved you when....  and  You are so funny when.....      and  My favorite thing to do with you is....
It has been fun to make and I hope it's something he will cherish forever.

Happy Valentine's Week Everyone - may you find love in whatever you do, see, say and experience.

Eyes of a Camera

I spent the weekend in Fergus Falls for the Frostbite Festival and the town was absolutely gorgeous! The frost covered ALL the beautiful trees in town and it hung on to each branch the entire weekend.

My dad was talking about how cool the scenery was while he was out delivering mail and he mentioned how a woman walked out of her apartment and declared how beautiful the trees were and that she would love to take a picture if she had a camera.

If she had a camera.

My dad and I reflected on that for a moment. How sad it must be to not have a camera. More importantly, to not have anything to have a camera for...as we guessed this lady did not.

I am grateful to snap these pictures...

When I throw my hands in the air because I can't deal with the 20th temper tantrum of the day...SNAP!

When my older son entertains his little brother so he will stop screaming for one second in the car...SNAP!

When I am cleaning up the mess of a healthy, abundant meal...SNAP!

When I have 20 loads of laundry to do...SNAP!

When the living room is covered with toys, crackers, cereal, books and 3 boys wrestling amongst it all...SNAP!

Without a to-do list, I would have nothing to do - and no one to do it for. I am forever grateful that I have a list 10 miles long, and will vow to do them all cheerfully and with extreme gratitude.

Some other honorable mentions this weekend captured with a camera:

My beautiful sister with her awesome date at Snowball.
My husband enjoying the company of a dozen other guys at a fishing weekend.

My mom having a "party" at the RedBox movie center.
Me helping my lovely sister getting ready for her big night.
The group of Snowball ready girls and handful of guys as they posed for 2,000 photos.
My dad playing Cootie's with my boys.
Me having a great conversation with a girlfriend I don't get to see often enough.

Kid Clothes Hangers

My 8 year old outgrew his kid clothes hangers. It was actually his older cousins hand-me-downs' fault but regardless, I shed a little tear as the shirt I hung on a hanger slid right off.

They say kids grow up in a blink of an eye - but I think I have just been choosing not to watch!

I turned the other way when his dad referred to him as a "tween" after an emotional dispute.

I chose not to listen when I am pretty sure Ethan was requesting to stay at a friends house instead of hang with us on a Saturday night.

I waived the white flag and told him to "go ask dad" when he came home with homework that looked like this: With a die, you can roll a number from 1 to 6. Predict the number of times you would roll the number 3 if you rolled the die 24 times. Explain your answer.

I am so thankful he still kisses me good-night - and for pictures!

Connecting

Wow! 2012 is here! My mission this year - to meet as many interesting people as possible! So far, so good! I just came from a coffee date with a brand new friend. Someone I had never met before but a trusted mutual friend suggested we meet - and so we did.  On the way there, I didn't know what to expect. If we didn't connect well, what escape route could I take? But I was hopeful and prayed for maybe one good hour of joyful conversation. 

But 2 hours later,  I walked away with so much more!

New books to read! New friends to meet! New ideas on how to achieve personal goals!

I couldn't feel more blessed to have spent 2 hours this morning with this person and it made me take stock of my current circle of friends and family.  Are they "filling my bucket" as my son, Ethan, would say. So thankfully, I am happy to say YES! my circle is unique and wonderful and full of inspiring, up-beat individuals and they paint my world with  the brightest of colors.  However, there is always room for more and my personal mission this year add fabulous people to my circle.

As you - dear friends and family reading this - relfect on your own "circle" may I please offer this challenge to you - connect with someone new this year! You will be amazed at the possible insights, blessings and encouragement they will bring into your life!

Happy 2012 everyone!

Picture Perfect

Notice I haven't blogged in a while? Yes, I have a newborn. Adam Jerome was welcomed August 27th and has captured my heart, my time and my brain cells.

My six week maternity leave has come and gone and today was my last day home. I wanted to conquer the world today - well at least get some of my to-do list done before I go back to work.  (I must insert here that Adam is colicky and most events like going out to eat or a trip to Target include him in tears and us doing everything to not be stared at by everyone in the joint)

So, in a usual moment of insanity I decide today would be the best day for his 6 week pictures. While he screams, I pack his diaper bag and rush out the door. This would be my first experience with Expressions by Ashton photography and my anxiety level is increasing as I realize I am in fact doing this - and without the help of my hubby. Ugh...

I arrive barely on time but Adam is handsome as can be and ready to go in our favorite outfit. Of course he is hungry so I feed him a little while I wait for our photographer.  As Adam is eating, he poops. Poops big. Poops through his outfit. (the only one I have)

So, it's time for our session and Adam has poop up and down his back. Thankfully, our photographer is an old Apple-buddy (co-worker from my days at Applebee's) and I start to feel a little better as she leads me to our private room where I can change Adam and get started with the no-outfit-needed photos.

I clean up Adam and as he is sitting on my lap waiting for his first lights and camera action -  he pees. All over himself, all over me and some spilled onto the studio floor. I am ready to run out screaming but I am here - determined and stubborn -  and he isn't crying so I better take what I can get.

The patient, amazing and beautiful Carmen, (my apple-buddy now photographer) takes Adam from me and BEAUTIFULLY positions him. I can't believe my eyes. He is sitting pretty as a picture, with his tiny hands tucked under his head and his legs perfectly curled. But before Carmen can say cheese - he is crying. Crying to the point we have to start over and now to make matters worse his sensitive skin is breaking out into a rash. Ugh...

The next hour looks like a beautiful dance you would see on Dancing with the Stars with Carmen and I handing off Adam, the pacifier, the props and organizing different positions. The song Carmen sings to go along with our dance is a perfect combination of soothing and distracting and entertaining notes. All designed to capture the heart of a 6 week old.

Even though some of these poses we only had time to snap 2 or 3 shots, I couldn't be happier with the end results. Picture perfect you might say.

I laugh when I look at these, because you would never guess what we went through to get here. It makes me wonder what the "true" story is behind every smile.

(check out the pics - http://www.expressionsbyashton.com/ and click on find photos and enter Heather Ostrowski)

3 days to come full circle

What a weekend we had! It started Saturday with a friends BRIDAL SHOWER. It was a wonderful shower filled with great women, great food and great fun. All in the name of celebrating a young woman and her new journey into marriage. We giggled as we rummaged through our purses in search of items, we teared up as stories were told of first dates and their unique proposal and we remembered our own big day or dreamed of our big day to come as she unwrapped beautiful gifts - shiny new and useful gifts.





That night continued with a WEDDING. A beautiful wedding - truly. The details in this wedding were unlike any other. I was continually wowed by the personal touch in everything surrounding this day. After the vows were exchanged and the meals were served, the speeches began. The brides dad gave one of the most beautiful speeches most of us had ever heard. He started and ended his message by painting a visual of us of when his daughter was just born and he was able to hold her for the first time. From birth to now, this was his little girl. There wasn't a dry eye in the beautiful venue as we all visualized our own lives that had passed so quickly.





The next day continued with a VISITATION for my great uncle who had passed away at 83. He was given about 3 months at Christmas time - and now here we are, family and friends who had gathered to celebrate the life a wonderful man, son, father, grandfather, husband, hero, friend, uncle, brother, nephew, great uncle, farmer - hard worker and so many other things to the people who knew him well. I marveled at the photos collected to help us reflect on the life he lived. Included were old photos of him has a young toddler. 80+ years ago this picture had been taken, yet it is still included as a significant piece of his history.





Monday rounded our events with a peak into my belly via an ultrasound to meet the life that started there 20 weeks ago. A boy. We were having another boy! Oh the hopes we have for our children. The excitement that comes in wondering who he will be. Will his dad teach him how to treat a lady so one day he can marry the woman of his dreams? Will he have children of his own and one day give a speech that his daughter will never forget? What legacy will he leave at the end of his time on earth?

Voice of Truth

Voice of Truth by Casting crowns: Oh what I would do to have, the kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I am in. Onto the crashing waves. To step out of my comfort zone, into the realm of the unknown, where Jesus is. And He's holding out His hand. But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me. Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed. The waves they keep on telling me, time and time again. Boy you'll never win. You'll never win.

But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story. The Voice of Truth says do not be afraid. And the Voice of Truth says this is for My glory. Out of all the voices calling out to me. I will chose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth.



This song really spoke to me today as I am once again finding myself stepping way out of my comfort zone because I believe I am being called to do so.

About a year ago a wonderful lady partnered with me and together we created a workshop called Rejoice. An opportunity to help others strengthen their walk with Christ. We gave it a pilot run and we weren't able to complete the seven week journey, for a few reasons. Even though I believed we had a great program - it still felt like we had failed.

She has recently called on me again to give it another run and even though I have many voices in my head that are trying to fill me full of fears and doubt - I am going to listen to the voice I chose to be the loudest! The Voice of Truth!

My hopes are for you as you read this, if you are being called to do something that you are afraid to try or think you won't be any good at - ask yourself - who's voice is that? The voice telling you that you are no good and not worthy of success. Omit that voice from your head - because it's really not doing you any good. The more you can erase those negative voices, the clearer you will be able to hear the one - the only one - that counts. The Voice of Truth.

Awake in the middle of the night

Happy New Year! I hope that 2010 is a year of prosperity, renewal and peace for you.

What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night? Assuming you are not a new parent and nothing has alarmed you out of your slumber, I would guess you use the bathroom, get something to drink or eat and work hard at getting back to sleep fast. But what if you toss and turn and can not quiet your mind?

My husband and I exchange our results of last night's sleep first thing when we wake up. We celebrate each others night of sound sleeping or sometimes groan over stories of being awake off and on all night. I have even found that this is my first question to my 6 year old "Did you sleep good, hun?"

Okay, so you're awake. Really awake. You feel like you could get up a run a marathon! Consider your options: lay in bed with your eyes shut tight, awake. lay in bed this way so long you start to get stressed that you are awake. turn on the tv and give up the idea of ever having a good nights sleep.

OR...try this: Get up. Go into a quiet room. Turn on the lights. Grab a pen and paper. Watch some great thoughts spill out on paper. I'm serious. You never know what kind of creative energy or thoughts will reveal themselves during these wee hours.

The BEST part of this middle-of-the-night rendezvous with yourself... you will not be interrupted! No one will need you. If you can relax about the fact that you are awake - and enjoy that you may be awake for a reason, it can be a wonderful piece of your day. It is possible that you will have enough good energy to get through your day if you can embrace this time.

So the next time you find yourself awake in the middle of the night - embrace it!

What is Shoes of Life anyway?

It's a message about the "shoes" we wear during different stages of our life.
Examples would be:
baby shoes: anytime we begin or try something new. Job, parent, community, church, relationship, etc. How does that "baby" shoe feel and look.
casual shoes: now we've got the hang of it! what does this time of our lives look and feel like? AND does it ever get boring?
high heel shoes: accomplished! successful! appreciated!
worn out shoes: sick, sad, unsupported - let's get out of these shoes, AND HOW!
running shoes: motivated, goal oriented, ready to take on the world! be careful to protect these shoes from "scuffs".
flip-flops: vacation, time-out

I encourage the audience to not only think about the shoes they are wearing - (and if they don't like the shoes they are in, can they change them?) BUT ALSO, what about the people in their lives, what shoes are they in?

I LOVE the discussion that presents itself during each event. I ALSO LOVE that the speech can be tailored made to any event. The core is always there, but the topics can be so different.

Every event I have had has been so exciting because the audience is always different and their response is always unique. I have just a blast every time!

My favorite quote ever, which I have been able to fit into my message: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you feel about it." - mary engelbright

Upcoming events

I have been blessed to be invited to two upcoming events!

Church retreats! One at a resort in Detroit Lakes this June and the other in Battle Lake this September. I am looking forward to these retreats and pray that my message adds some additional insight into the lives of the woman attending.

Upping the ante!

Up until this point my speeches have ranged anywhere from 10 to 45 minutes. Until I got the CALL!

We would like you to host a two hour workshop.

WHAT? 2 hours! Okay, bring it on!

How was I going to fill two hours. I got it...let them do the talking! Let them do the thinking! So, I made journal pages that went along with my message. Now they get to personalize my message and truly understand it and apply it in their own lives.

I added exercises, time for sharing their journal entries and what do you know - it worked! Again, a fabulous discussion.

Well, that was a boring post. Trying to do too much in one day, I guess. My point, however, is that I have now discovered that my little shoe speech can actually be used for many different events and I can speak for 10 minutes to 2 hours. What a cool thing to learn. I feel blessed that I have been asked to stretch waaayyy beyond my comfort zone and beyond anywhere I had ever hoped to be with my public speaking.

Do you believe things happen for a reason?

My husband and I were searching for a church after moving. We truly thought that God would bring us to our new church home. We literally got up one Sunday morning, got dressed, got in the car with a phone book in hand and said "God, take us to our new church." We drove around all morning and ended up at Perkins, defeated and hungry. After a year, we were still on the search. We tried every Church it seemed, and we didn't even care about the denomination. It was a Sunday night. We had missed another Sunday. I was online desperately searching. I came upon a church that I had seen in passing while driving around our community. Their mission statement fit ours and I declared this was the church we would visit next Sunday.

That Monday morning I got my first call as a result of my postcard mailing. It was the same church I had found online just the night before.

The voice on the other end declared: "We just started a women's group called Sole Sisters, and now your postcard is here on my desk!"

I told her that her church was the one we were ready to visit next. And so the next Sunday this woman and her friend invited me to church with them.

I felt peace. I felt at home. There was no doubt that this would be our new community and within a month, we were members.

Six months later, I gave my speech, at their church brunch. Again, it was just wonderful! I had declared to my husband earlier that week that my shoe speech career was going to take off and replace my current job within the year. After I gave that speech, I upped my deadline to 6 months. Yes, I am a dreamer. NO, it didn't happen. But I am still dreaming!

Then What? My ten mintues of fame are over...or are they?

It has been a year, and even though my ten minute speech for the IAAP was great, it never occurred to me that someone other than my grandma would want to ever hear it again.

Until I got the CALL.

One of the IAAP members was now planning a church brunch and would I be the guest speaker for that.

CHURCH!! Of course! What a great way to use my gift God gave me and return it back to Him.

Then, this woman asked me what my fee would be. MY fee??!! What?? I can make money doing something I loved!? Well, since this is only my second time, I would love to just do it for free.

She insisted (it was a 75 mile commute for me, so I guess she wanted to at least cover that). It was only my second speech and I got paid for it! I honestly believe that if it were not for this woman, I would still be doing this for free today.

This church group - all woman, ages 10 to 90+ ended up being a HOOT! What a wonderful group of women and what a wonderful discussion that took place about shoes. The whole thing was shoe-themed. They all brought pairs of shoes - some were used to decorate the tables, others were used to share stories of long ago - or of to come. It was FABULOUS! We had snow shoes, bronzed baby shoes, wedding shoes, mothers' wedding shoes, shoes they wanted to be buried in, shoes they never wore and the STORIES! The laughter, the tears, the shared emotions. And I was in front of the room, leading this wonderful discussion. I was hooked! I wanted more! And I knew just where to begin. Church.

I had postcards made, courtesy of Haney's Photography. I mailed them out to community Churches, and waited by the phone.

How did you become a public speaker?

I am asked this question a lot! So, here's my story.

I graduated from St. Cloud State as a Communications major. I always wanted to do public speaking - but it seemed I had nothing to talk about. I recognized that all the great speakers I had heard to date had been through some life-changing experience. This was not me, nor did I want it to be. I like my life. Not looking for a tragedy here just so I could speak in front of people.

So, I looked at motivational speaking, pulling from the good experiences in my life. Turns out my youth hadn't given me the material just yet to be interesting enough. My mom lovingly teased me that I wasn't motivated enough to become a motivational speaker. There was some truth to that - but more importantly, I just enjoyed proving her wrong.

So there I was one day, working as the school manager of Josef's School of Hair Design in Grand Forks when I got the CALL. A lady on the phone was wondering if our school would donate a gift certificate to the Administrative Professionals luncheon for their silent auction. I said, "yes". She then asked if I could like to attend the lunch. I said "Who is your guest speaker?" She said "We haven't chosen one yet, do you know of someone who would be interested?"

A voice, not of my own, the one we all have, DEEP DOWN, that doesn't have reason or disbelief in our abilities said "I would like to do it!"

With that, she asked me to pitch my idea and she would take it back to the board members.

I went home that night and researched IAAP - wow, they were a BIG deal! What was I thinking? All of a sudden the voice of reason and disbelief said to me - Heather, this is too big for you. My friends and family actually said - Heather, this is too big for you. I was panicked and it was everything I could do to NOT pick up the phone and back out.

I sat at the computer, lost. Empty. What was I thinking? Then all of a sudden, it happened. My fingers started typing. They just typed and typed and typed. My husband came to check on me and I said "Don't talk to me, don't look at me, please just bring me a glass of wine."
Twenty minutes later, Shoes of Life was born. Not entirely, but the idea was there. Typed on my computer. Looking back, thinking of how mindlessly my fingers were typing away, I KNOW that this core idea for a speech could only come from one place: Our Heavenly Father.

I pitched the idea - and they thought it would be great for this event.

It was only a 10 minute speech, but I practiced for hours and hours and hours! I practiced in front of everyone who would listen. (Thanks to everyone who would listen.) I fell in love with a HOT PINK suit and bought it the minute I found out I was giving the speech. My shoes were much harder to find. I looked in EVERY shoe store in town. No kidding. The pair I found was perfect. This outfit was harder to put together than my wedding gown/shoes/veil.

My big day came. I had two tables full of family and friends that were there to support me. Ten minutes before it was time, I panicked. I mean, freaked. Thank God I had my husband there to calm me down - and then pull me out of freak zone right before I went on stage.

I got on stage and began my speech. I said my thank yous, etc. etc. and then BLANKED OUT. I mean BLANKED. I had no idea how to begin Shoes of Life. For what seemed like an hour - but was really maybe 35 seconds - I finally began. My ten minutes of fame went great from there. I walked away feeling so amazing, so accomplished. I had done it! And my mom was there to see it!